Welcome along to my rather impressive website.  It has been said by many, and I have to agree, that I am the saviour of light entertainment, and I wish someone else with influence and commissioning powers would realise it!  Well, they've asked me to write you something about myself, a potted history.  I said, "Eh, I'm not a Begonia you know!"

Biography

Well, to give you some background, I was born in the late…well, you could always cut my leg off and count the rings.  That’s what someone did to Arthur Askey I think.  I was raised in Hull by my parents, when they had the time.  My dad was once a chef in a residential home, but suffered a complete mental collapse after allegedly being handed a menu each morning by the ghost of an Edwardian hospital matron.  Eeh...sends shivers down my spine.  He also claimed to have served in British Intelligence throughout the Second World War, and he also said he'd solved the mystery of the Kennedy assassination, but I think they were tall stories.   I had various jobs until I found my true vocation.  I worked in abattoirs and fish markets, plus a brief stint as a chimney sweep, but then they brought in some new child labour laws.  Eeh, Dad wasn’t chuffed.  His dying wish was for me to become a cobbler, but I couldn't see myself as a sole trader...